


The guards themselves

by Trojie



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trojie/pseuds/Trojie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's their job to look after the team. Their time together is about looking after each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The guards themselves

**Author's Note:**

> For my hurt-comfort bingo 2013 card, prompt 'bodyguards'. (REEEEEALLLY running under the wire here! Five fics to go after this one for a blackout!) Thanks to Yalu for looking this over for me <3

Sometimes it seems like everyone on this goddamn bus has a deathwish. 

Grant tries, he really does. but he's only one man, he only has two eyes and two hands and one body to use to get between his team and the shit they always seem to get in the way of. That's kind of his job now - human shield. He _used_ to run his own ops. Not any more. He knows he's not stupid but he feels like the grunt, the muscle, when Skye's flying through cyberspace and FitzSimmons produce daily sci-fi miracles. Grant's the guy who can pull triggers and make quick decisions and haul ass out of burning buildings, and he has to be able to do everything on his own but he isn't on his own anymore. He was supposed to be the specialist, the solo guy, the point man, the infiltrator, and then Coulson came for him. 

And now, what, he has to be the bodyguard? If that's his job he'll do it, that's not even in question, but …

But _how?_

Grant tries to teach Skye and she laughs at him. Grant tries to talk to Fitz, but he doesn't know how to respond. Grant tries to take care of Simmons and she just breezes by, looking back and smiling over her shoulder at him as she walks straight into danger. You can't take point on an expanding, 360 degree zone of chaos, and that's what they've got here - three geniuses ricocheting off each other and just Grant to ride herd on them. All Coulson seems to do is just tell him to make it work, let them do what they want to, and trust that it'll work, and that as a strategy has never worked for Grant. 

But orders are orders, so he's been trying, with mixed results. 

He was sinking, not swimming, before May came back into the game. He was drowning, before May left her door open and invited him into her space. 

She knows what it's like, Grant guesses. Everything she's done, even though he suspects half of what he's heard is wrong and the truth is probably more brutal than even the rumours say. And if anything, she's got more weight on her shoulders than he does with this gig.

He feels like his job is being bodyguard to Skye and FitzSimmons. When he first got on the bus, he was relieved that at least the bossman and the pilot, Coulson and May, could look after themselves without his help. But May, if Grant guesses right, reads her body language right, has decided her job is to guard _all_ of them - Skye, FitzSimmons, Coulson, and Grant himself too. Sometimes, he thinks maybe she thinks her job is to protect anyone who comes across her path - or maybe everyone. 

He can't even imagine what that must feel like. Sometimes he watches her out of the corner of his eye and gets mad at Coulson for pulling her back into the field, putting her back on the line like this. And then they're in a situation and he feels that exhilarating moment of knowing that someone has your back, and he can't deny, there's no better feeling. 

She lets him in. It's on her terms only, and it's probably the most covert op Grant has ever pulled, keeping this thing they have flying under the radar, but it means something to him, when she lays down her arms and her walls and lets him come to her. 

Maybe she thinks this is another way she's taking care of him, but he's determined that if that's the case, it's gonna be a two-way street. He will put his body on the line for her however she needs, as long as she needs him to. 

Here's the thing they always used to drum into him at the academy - _Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?_ Who watches the watchmen? It's supposed to make them think about their job, about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s role in society, but there's more to it than that. 

Who guards the guards themselves? 

It's not quite the right way of thinking about it, but Grant thinks if guarding means protecting, looking after, and it's understood that they can't trust anyone else to do it for them, then him and May will just have to look after each other.


End file.
